Forgiveness and Restoration of a Relationship Are Not The Same!

1 Chronicles 14; 1 Chronicles 15; Psalm 132; Matthew 18
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Scripture

Matthew 18

21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!

23 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. 25 He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.

26 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
29 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. 30 But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

31 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

35 “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

Observation

Forgiveness is so important to both our spiritual and physical health. Unforgiving-ness can destroy a person. When we decide to hold on to hurts and when we hold on to grudges because someone has done us wrong we are the one that suffers not the other person. In fact, as long as we don’t forgive them they control us. Until we forgive them they will continue to hurt us. But once we let it go then they no longer have a hold on us.

I just had a person tell me about an upcoming event, “Well if so and so is going then I am not going.” This person had been hurt by this person recently and the wound is still obviously open and maybe still festering.

But I don’t know for sure if what I said is actually true or not, maybe this person has forgiven the other person. The reason that I say that is because even though the offended person may have forgiven the other person that does not mean that the offended person can now trust the other person and work with them.

Just because you forgive someone does not mean that you can hang out with him or her or serve with them. Trust takes a long time to rebuild. Restoration of a relationship after there has been a betrayal takes time.

Paul and Barnabas could be examples of what I am talking about. We don’t know for sure but we do know that their disagreement was so severe that they could no longer work together anymore. At least from what we read in scripture it doesn’t look like they ever worked together again.

The danger for us is unforgiving-ness and what it robs us of. The offender controls us until we let what they did to us go. It is a hard thing to do but we have to do it. Let it go. You may have to go to God several times a day asking Him to help you let it go, but let it go.

We do have evidence that Paul and Barnabas must have patched things up or at least Paul and John Mark did. Later in his ministry Paul requested that they send John Mark to come help him.

Application

I will try to help people see the need to forgive and the need to work on fractured relationships.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, we are imperfect people. We get our feelings hurt so easily and find it so difficult to forgive when we have been wronged. I am a sinner. Help me forgive people and not hold on to grudges. Help me work with people so they can mend broken relationships. Thank you for forgiving me and not holding my sins against me. I don’t deserve your kindness. Help me have that same kind of love for others around me. Help this person that has been hurt to let it go.

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